Mike Friedman

The Rose Garden Affair

// November 11th, 2008 // Sup

I was one of 16 athletes selected to attend the Olympic Team send off from the White House in July. This was the first time in history this kind of function was to held. Typically it’s held after the games in October, where the entire US team has the opportunity to simply visit the white house and shake hands with the President, rather than visit the white house, shake hands with him, enter and sit inside the Oval office for a personalized visit and tour by the President, then later in the evening have dinner with him and his wife personally.
 
Sounds pretty simple and straight forward right? Wrong, funny and crazy things always happen to me. 
 
First, it’s hot, really hot, worse, it’s humid. I’m in the prime of the training season, so I sweat. I’m sorry, but I do. French Blue is not going to cut it. Did you ever know that “French Blue was a color anyways? It’s the worst blue in the history of blues to wear if you are a sweater, such as myself.

Fine whatever, I will go buy the strongest anti-perspirant I can find, which was something like $20. I swear, it made it worse though. I think It made me perspire even more so because I simply went from putting on my deoderant, undershirt, and French Blue team shirt, to being a sopping wet sweaty bloke.
 
The morning of the Rose Garden Send off we had to arrive 40 minutes earlier to practice our walk out on to the stage. We staged in the East wing walked out single file, and stood on a stage which had about 200 chairs and about 40 television cameras set up in front of it. Somehow, as if God was playing a joke on me, I got to lead the team out. It was by chance, and that would be the way it would happen during the real show in about 20 minutes from this time.
 
I can feel my pits starting to get wet, I look at the shirt, and it’s already a six inch oval of sweat. Holy CRAP what am I going to do! I’m going on national television in 20 minutes with the President of the United States. I will give you a run down of what’s going on in my head…
 
“What the F is going on here!, I wonder if anyone else notices? Sh**, she just looked at my pits, and my face and smiled, no good!”
 
To the Olympic Ambassador: “Excuse me, do we by chance happen to have extra shirts? I’m having a small crisis over here with global warming. Yes, I’m aware we have only 15 minutes, thanks, but really, the oceans are litterally rising, look for yourself. What! How couldn’t you have brought extra shirts! Call 911, Mike is sinking.”
 
(Lots of laughter from everyone, and me standing shaking my head with a big smile. This is something that really doesn’t bother me because it’s funny as heck)
 
Okay, here I am, 10 minutes to go, before leading the US team out in front of the white house staff, the United States, and President Bush. What do I do.
 
Thank God he didn’t just give me a place to put a hat, he gave me a brain too, THE BATHROOM! I took off my shirt, threw away my undershirt, and soaked my French Blue shirt to make it one solid color. 7 minutes! I put it on, it’s cold, slightly darker, and ONE SOLID COLOR! Holy SHIT it’s bleeding through the pants, now what?! Napkins! Yes, napkins with the white house emblem are what I used to line the belt line so the water I couldn’t wring out wouldn’t further bleed out. As I’m doing this in walks a Secret Service agent. vest, gun, and all and we both stop and stare. He at me, and my hands in my pants fumbling with napkins, and me at him then his vest and now at his gun. He sees what I’m doing, I briefly explain and he just laughs.
 
3 Minutes, knock on door, I’m out and standing in line to lead the team. The color isn’t too far off, it’s different, but will have to do.
 
I lead the team out, take my place, out comes Bush from the Oval Office, gives his speech, shakes our hands and walks back inside. Okay! Made it! WRONG again.
 
7 of us had to give TV interviews and were instructed to follow a white house rep to the press room which passes directly past the Oval office. Again, i’m leading the group when the door opens to and the President walks out in front of me and says sternly,
 
“Hey, what are you guys doing back here?”
 
Me: knees litterally shaking, “Err, um, well, Sir, Mr. President, drrrr, we have to give some interviews for the press”
 
Smiling he says, “I know, I’m only kidding, why dont you guys come check out the Oval Office first hand”
 
Me: Look back at the others, look back at him, :”suuuurrrrreee”.
 
We walk in, and this is the first time I notice him looking at me funny, so I look at him funny. The look you would just give a random person looking at you funny, squint your forehead and raise a brow .
 
We all line up, and again, this funny look with my same response! He then askes if I have a sweating problem! I take a quick glance down at my shirt and instantly realize what was happening. I had been drying off outside during the the Rose Garden Speech! Now I was full of dry and wet patches standing in front of the President in the Oval office wearing a half wet shirt while he inquired about it. So, I told him the quick story, and he just laughed. We took a few photos, talked about cycling, had a few jokes and after about 20 minutes, left for our press interviews. At which point, I had to re-soak my shirt in the West Wings bathroom before going on camera.
 
It was truly unbelievable!

Pictures soon