9th or 10th Grade Coed Gym (SWIM) class.

// March 18th, 2008 // Sup

Well, it’s been some time since i’ve posted anything about myself, outside of racing or training. I’m amazed at how many people enjoy reading this stuff. Okay, I mean, it’s at my expense right, but I’ve received a lot of random, always positive feedback about various posts. So, in thanks, here we go. I hope you laugh at work or where ever you might be when you read this, because that is ulitmately the point. I enjoy making people laugh, and as I’ve said before, don’t mind telling embarassing stories to do so, because, we have all experienced moments like these, I just, well…tell them.

Okay, so it’s Gym Class, 9th or 10th grade so I’m maybe 15.5 or 16 years old or somewhere in that ballpark.

I used to love Gym. It was a time for me to let out pent up energy (no pun intended later on), enjoying ultimate frisbee, soccer, a bit of B-ball, and especially Swim Class! I don’t know, maybe it had to do with the chlorine or the fact that swim class was completely different than any other activity you ever did in Gym. People used to dred it, and I more or less embraced it. I think mainly for the fact that it was a coed gym class.

Now, I guess on this particular day I may have “embraced” it a tad to much. You see, I had the Coed Gym Class of GOLD. All the hot popular godesses were there, and you can only pretend to take a large sweeping “glance” 7 to 10 times to check out what time it is on the large clock, before you are that suspicious pervert. Nevertheless, i’m on probably glance 2, and already I have my hand in my pocket.

Okay, for those of you who don’t know, a man with his hands in his pocket is suspicious. What is he doing? Grabbing change, keeping his hand warm, scratching something, or does he actually have something he’s trying to hide? I always made sure my swim shorts had pockets. It was a major major issue people. I could just anticipate that this was going to happen, that I would become all “excited” as soon as I saw the female participants of our gym class. I’d have my hand in my pocket, holding you know what, looking oh so casual, “hey look at me, I don’t have a boner”. Holding random casual conversations as if nothing is wrong.

“Oh yeah, hey, Liz looking good, how are ya?”

“Yo Ben, we running later? Cool man cool”

“Hey, maybe later, can I copy your math? You can copy my Spanish”

IT WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN. THE INEVITABLE!

I’m standing there one particular gym class, chatting it up with the ladies.

“Well, yes, I use a Mach 3 normally, but last night, oh my god, I tried using a razor with two blades, and cut myself badly”

“Oh yeah, gel you say, usually I just use regular shave cream, but i’ll take your advice”

“That’s right Steph, smoother than yours”

“Have you ever used electric?” “Pfft, nah, it pulls too much, right, yeah no, use two razors, saves time”

Okay, so, like I said, standing there, hand in pocket, “talking”, while stealing quick unacknowledged glances at well…

(saying to myself)

“Dear GOD, a BOOB! Two of them!”
“Holy shnikes, when did she grow into those?”
“Maybe if I accidently slip, I can grab one”

I didn’t realize, but my buddies were handing out everyone’s kick boards and what not, and one of them yells, “Hey Friedman, Catch!” Zings a kickboard eye level, and it’s coming fast. Without hesitation I grab it from the air, with BOTH HANDS!

Standing there kick board above my head, while down below, I’m full on swinging about with a broom stick lopping off heads.

And sure enough, a handful of ladies saw it, then their friends, and now the whole damn bench knows, so I jump into the pool, and sink to the bottom. I was so embarassed, but I could not help laughing histarically under the water at what had happened.

Yeah, I was super embarassed, and yes everyone saw it, but holy crap was it ever funny.

I didn’t go single to Prom.